last week i got the news that anthony had died in a car crash in richmond…last year at this time of the year my nephew was killed by gun shot age 21 in arizona…5 years ago another nephew died at age 18 in india in a hospital….my son died by suicide at age 33 in berkeley
knowing what it feels like to loose a child i know the beat of these mothers hearts will never beat the same way again, that this mind, body, soul and spirit is forever transformed and we look and feel the universe differently
i feel that i was lucky to have found my son's body and not heard through a phone call from the police department or a passenger in the car or a relative.....the immediacy of seeing and holding the body still warm and not bloodied gave me a moments relief in which i walked with my sons spirit for a moment to the other side and then was struck by the universality of a mothers pain
after gracefully seeing everyone else who was impacted on their healing process i went mad as did my cousin and as i am sure at some point does every mother unfortunately those who surround us have yet to learn that special compassion needs to exist where there is no further violence committed against the mother atry to not add more grief or pour salt on open wounds..expect us back at work, in the community, doing what we did before in the same way
at the moment that any one of our young in this community die millions of mothers around the world at that moment are also losing their children to war, starvation, murder, sexual violence…knowing this only gave me a moments relief but since that time I've developed a very special compassion for women with children and in my daily prayers create the intention where war will leave us, there will be plenty of food for our children and guns will be removed from civilians ….i would be hallucinating to believe that all wars will end
an unexpected or expected death of a child and the emotions, thoughts and behaviors of the mother in the aftermath cannot just be explained away as 'its the worst thing that could happen"……its in reality the most complex of any human experience while laced with devastation of spirit there is also a deepening of spirituality and an understanding of death itself and an ability to comfort and care for children still living enhanced…a special kindness that was perhaps not there before
in me it created the ability to love and raise children honoring their life breath, their very presence amongst us which makes our world more joyful any one of us can loose a child at any moment ……so why not learn from women who have lost children and try and create a non-violent world
of course accidents happen, natural disasters take life but there is so much more we can do to make this world a friendlier place for our young, a safer place, simply a more compassionate place, we can use gentler speech, remove physical punishment, intervene when we see violence committed towards our children in school, in parks, in stores
and that we hold the mothers who have lost a child just a little more gently, that we expect that they are now different and in some way blessed by the very loss that made them go crazy
knowing what it feels like to loose a child i know the beat of these mothers hearts will never beat the same way again, that this mind, body, soul and spirit is forever transformed and we look and feel the universe differently
i feel that i was lucky to have found my son's body and not heard through a phone call from the police department or a passenger in the car or a relative.....the immediacy of seeing and holding the body still warm and not bloodied gave me a moments relief in which i walked with my sons spirit for a moment to the other side and then was struck by the universality of a mothers pain
after gracefully seeing everyone else who was impacted on their healing process i went mad as did my cousin and as i am sure at some point does every mother unfortunately those who surround us have yet to learn that special compassion needs to exist where there is no further violence committed against the mother atry to not add more grief or pour salt on open wounds..expect us back at work, in the community, doing what we did before in the same way
at the moment that any one of our young in this community die millions of mothers around the world at that moment are also losing their children to war, starvation, murder, sexual violence…knowing this only gave me a moments relief but since that time I've developed a very special compassion for women with children and in my daily prayers create the intention where war will leave us, there will be plenty of food for our children and guns will be removed from civilians ….i would be hallucinating to believe that all wars will end
an unexpected or expected death of a child and the emotions, thoughts and behaviors of the mother in the aftermath cannot just be explained away as 'its the worst thing that could happen"……its in reality the most complex of any human experience while laced with devastation of spirit there is also a deepening of spirituality and an understanding of death itself and an ability to comfort and care for children still living enhanced…a special kindness that was perhaps not there before
in me it created the ability to love and raise children honoring their life breath, their very presence amongst us which makes our world more joyful any one of us can loose a child at any moment ……so why not learn from women who have lost children and try and create a non-violent world
of course accidents happen, natural disasters take life but there is so much more we can do to make this world a friendlier place for our young, a safer place, simply a more compassionate place, we can use gentler speech, remove physical punishment, intervene when we see violence committed towards our children in school, in parks, in stores
and that we hold the mothers who have lost a child just a little more gently, that we expect that they are now different and in some way blessed by the very loss that made them go crazy
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